<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>STRIPLING by gumscale</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496694">STRIPLING</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumscale/pseuds/gumscale'>gumscale</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ITZY (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Just read, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Thanks, do not make sense i know, from hyuka of course, hyuka just hasnt realize it yet, just hueningkai embracing his teenage girl side, lots of clownery, soobin talks like he came from the 18th century, soobin you're doing good baby keep it up, sookai gay, there's a bit angst but not angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:16:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumscale/pseuds/gumscale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a few things he's completely clear of right now. First, His name is Huening Kai. Second, He has a douche of a brother called Yeonjun and third, his life is in shambles. The thing he's not clear about at all, well, it's a mere fact that he's fallen so hard for a guy who:</p><p>a) Speaks like Shakespeare;<br/>b) Doesn't recognize the glory of breakfast;<br/>c) Can't help himself in the heat of the moment and most importantly;<br/>d) Has a dick.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin &amp; Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun &amp; Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Hwang Yeji, Shin Yuna &amp; Huening Kai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>STRIPLING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i think i'm having too much fun writing a college au, can i get some claps for my first ever long-lenght fic here? no? okay.</p><p>hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Kai honestly can't remember the last time he genuinely surprised himself. Sure, there was that time he finally managed to kiss that girl he'd been chasing for the better part of a month before suddenly deciding that actually, once he'd got to kiss her, she wasn't all that, and he'd run away before she could say ‘I’.</p><p> </p><p>To be fair that hadn't been his usual routine. He'd more than made up for that since, though.</p><p> </p><p>No, this is in a different league. He feels a bit funny about himself, truth be told. That's probably why Yuna is looking at him like he's just sprouted a second head or started raving about how much he loves Lady Gaga’s new rainbow hair. Well, she'll have to look for a bit longer. Kai hasn't finished taking in the guy behind her yet, browsing the books in the Classic Literature section.</p><p> </p><p>He definitely isn't Kai's type.</p><p> </p><p>The 'he' is a major factor in that. Kai doesn't go for guys. He doesn't have a problem with people who do, or anything like that. If some guys like the thought of doing that with other guys then, well, good luck to them. Kai can tip his metaphorical hat to them and move onto any cute girl nearby. No, he's not some sort of closet homophobe or anything like that. He just likes girls. He likes their small frame and their soft hair and lips and their smooth skin and the way they like him. He just doesn't swing the other way.</p><p> </p><p>Which doesn't really explain why he finds the guy behind Yuna <em>so</em> fascinating.</p><p> </p><p>He's not wearing anything particularly flamboyant or anything like that, and he doesn't have a tail or an extra leg. He just looks like an ordinary guy of about Kai's age – which explains why he's in the college library – if a little more intense than Kai's used to. And also a bit taller than him who’s like, extra tall, wow. He's wearing some weird kind of long, beige coat, which does strike Kai as slightly odd considering it's warm in here even with the air-con turned up full blast, and he looks like he hasn't even heard of a comb because his blue – yes blue – hair is a mess. Kai finds him to be entirely greater than the sum of his parts.</p><p> </p><p>Yuna waves her hand in front of Kai's face.</p><p> </p><p>"Earth to Huening Kai?" she says. "Is Shawn Mendes is behind me or something?"</p><p> </p><p>Too late, Kai realizes she's going to turn around and see Messy Blue Haired Guy, and he's going to be busted.</p><p> </p><p>Yuna, that lil shit, does indeed turn around, and wolf-whistles.</p><p> </p><p>"All right, Cutie, now I understand how you could be enjoying the view! I mean, he's wearing a different sort of undergarment to your usual type, but—"</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up, Nana," Kai mutters, flushing a horrible shade of crimson. He picks up the Psychology textbook from the table and pretends to flick through it, but he can't stop his eye from wandering to behind Yuna again. Of course Yuna notices, the bitch, and she laughs again, grabbing his face in her hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Ningning, if you help me finish reading this chapter, I will personally go over there and ask him if he thinks you're pretty just like all of our department seems to be in arrangement with," she says. Kai shoves her away from him and she lets out a piercing shriek of laughter. If Messy Blue Haired Guy hadn't noticed them acting like morons before, he definitely has now.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up!" Kai repeats, this time a little angrily like a disgruntled cat, and to his credit, Yuna does. She leans back in her chair, arms folded, and regards him carefully, one eyebrow raised. Kai hates it when she does that.</p><p> </p><p>"Kai."</p><p> </p><p>"Yuna."</p><p> </p><p>They sit in stalemate for a few seconds, eyes locked, unmoving. Unsurprisingly, Yuna cracks first.</p><p> </p><p>"Ok, ok, fine. I'll stop pestering. But I'm also going to point out that I'm absolutely desperate to use the bathroom, and I'm probably going to take a very long time, time which you can either use to revise shit you already know or to go over there and get that guy's number."</p><p> </p><p>Kai takes a couple of moments to process what she's suggesting between the things that make him want to throw up, and before he can protest or thank her she's already left him there like a blushing idiot because he just has this annoyingly pale skin and oh God, Messy Blue Haired Guy is definitely looking now. He's got a really intense stare that makes Kai feel a bit like his soul is being examined thoroughly, and his eyes are stupidly black. Seriously. Kai thinks they'd be classed as 'Rare Onyx’s orbs, do not touch’ on one of those weird museums he’d went to when he was a child.</p><p> </p><p>Fuck, he immediately wants to wash his brain out with bleach for thinking something so stupid. He feels like he'll start growing another head any second, and resolves to fix up a car or three when he gets home to make up for it.</p><p> </p><p>First, however, he's got a mission to complete. His track record with girls isn't bad. It's not 100%, sure, but whose is? He reckons that even Shawn Mendes's probably been turned down once or twice. He cautiously thinks about Shawn Mendes kissing him, and shudders at the image.</p><p> </p><p>Right, that's sorted then.</p><p> </p><p>He hasn't suddenly become gay overnight. Which doesn't explain why his pulse starts quickening like he's the heroine with the heaving bosom in one of Yeonjun's prissy romance Netflix flick when he glances up and sees that Messy Blue Haired Guy is still regarding him with a look of friendly curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>Shit. His life is shit.</p><p> </p><p>Kai is just pretending to read some boring Psychology paper, gathering together the last scraps of resolve he has left to go up to this guy and actually start a conversation when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He looks up and almost shits himself when he sees that Messy Blue Haired Guy is standing in front of him, so close that it's obvious he has some kind of weird reverse personal space issue, looking down at him like he's an exhibit in a museum.</p><p> </p><p>Kai clears his throat.</p><p> </p><p>"C-Can I help you?" he asks, and congratulates himself on managing to get actual words out, in Korean, which is a pleasant achievement.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," says Messy Blue Haired Guy. "I would like to see what you are reading."</p><p> </p><p>Kai thinks his life might be a deleted scene from a cable TV sit-com, but goes with the flow.</p><p> </p><p>"Erm," he says eloquently. Messy Blue Haired Guy does that thing with his eyebrow again and Kai's heart reacts in the same way as before. He gestures towards the chair in which Yuna had been sitting. "Sit down, then. I don't think you'll be interested in this shit, though. God, I'm studying it and I don't find it interesting."</p><p> </p><p>Messy Blue Haired Guy takes the seat, and close up, from this angle, Kai can see that actually, in a really weird way, he's totally Kai's type. He's got jaws you could slice your hand on, for a start. He's just a bit taller than Kai, which Kai's always found is the perfect height for coupley things like hugging; all the things he'd do if he were, you know, a girl. Then Kai realizes that a short time has passed and neither of them has said anything, so he picks up the Psychology journal he was pretending to read and hands it to Messy Blue Haired Guy.</p><p> </p><p>"Here," he says, doing his best impression of Captain Obvious. "It's sort of interesting, I guess, if you're into that sort of thing, which I am, because I'm doing my Psychology Masters. It's all about the relationship between childhood and adulthood friendships and the different dynamics you have between kids who say they're best friends and adults who actually are, y'know? Like, kids have three best friends in a week, whereas Yuna – she's the one you might have noticed with me a few minutes ago, the one with the really annoying laugh – has been my best friend for ages, and I'd probably do just about anything for her. But yeah, it's quite a good read, really, especially if - "</p><p> </p><p>"I have a confession," says Messy Blue Haired Guy. "I did not approach you with any intention of discussing your reading material."</p><p> </p><p>"O-Oh?" Kai squeaks out, worried he sounds like an emphysema patient but lacking the brain power to do anything about it.</p><p> </p><p>"No. As a matter of fact, I had noticed that you were not alone. You clearly have friends here. I am new to this area – I transferred to this college from another just last week – and have not yet had the opportunity to make the acquaintance of anyone I particularly care for. You seemed inherently approachable. I am sorry for the deception."</p><p> </p><p>It takes Kai a good ten seconds to process everything that this guy is saying to him, but when he thinks he's got the gist, he manages to respond.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow," he says. "Did your mother crave a Dictionary or something?"</p><p> </p><p>Messy Blue Haired Guy does not respond; merely looks flatly at Kai. Kai swallows down the lump in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>"Err, anyway, yeah. I guess I'm not unpopular," he continues. "I mean, I'm hardly Miss Congeniality, but I can introduce you to some cool people if you want."</p><p> </p><p>"That would be amenable," agrees Messy Blue Haired Guy. "My name is Soobin, by the way. I recognise that I could have made that apparent earlier in our acquaintance."</p><p> </p><p>"It's fine," says Kai, feeling a bit dizzy. Talking to this guy is a bit like speaking to someone in a foreign language you studied at high school; he essentially knows what he's saying but doesn't get all the words. "I'm Kai. Huening Kai."</p><p> </p><p>"It is nice to meet you, Huening Kai." says Soobin, and bless him, he holds out his hand for Kai to shake. He leans in conspiratorially. "If I am honest, you are the first person I have met so far whom I do not believe to be beyond help, psychologically speaking."</p><p> </p><p>Kai splutters in a vain attempt to hold his laugh in. He's not sure whether Soobin intended for that to be hilarious, but he sees a faint smile quirk on his lips, so he thinks he's safe. He's suddenly hit by a flash of inspiration and grabs the Psychology journal, fishing around in his jacket pocket for a pen. Soobin narrows his eyes in confusion as Kai scribbles something down on the back of the journal, puts his pen back in his pocket and hands the journal to Soobin, who squints to read Kai's embarrassing scrawl.</p><p> </p><p>"My number," Kai explains apologetically. "You know, my friends and I usually hang out at the café on campus at lunch, around one-ish. You're welcome to come with, if you want."</p><p> </p><p>"Would your friends mind?" asks Soobin, and Kai feels a pang of sympathy for this guy who, despite looking a bit like a male model, is clearly the most socially awkward person on the planet.</p><p> </p><p>"Nah, they'll be cool with it," says Kai. "Fresh meat and all."</p><p> </p><p>It's obvious that Soobin has no idea what Kai's on about, but it's all right because he's studying Kai's number carefully, and Kai's pretty sure that he's going to see him tomorrow and make even more references that confuse the heck out of him.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Yuna comes back, Soobin's left to find some book on Medieval Witchcraft and Kai's grinning like a special, so much so that when Yuna sees him she rolls her eyes and proclaims that he's a lost cause. Kai kind of agrees.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The café on campus isn't anything fancy, just overpriced coffee in flimsy polystyrene cups, but it pretends to be. Kai consequently always feels like a bit of a douche whenever he's in here, sitting on one of the faux-leather sofas and drinking a muddy black coffee that could be tar or next month's rent money. If it weren't for his friends, there's no way he'd come in here. Ever.</p><p> </p><p>Today, the troops have rallied – well, of course they bloody have, Yuna's told them all about Kai's new friend, although thankfully she's left out the part where he was practically drooling over the guy – and Kai is joined not only by Yuna, but also by Kai's brother, Yeonjun, and Yeonjun's girlfriend of the month, this time a rather scantily clad girl called Yeji, who looks a little like she could eat all of their souls for breakfast and still be hungry. Kai loves her immediately. She’s cool and apparently a very good dancer too.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin is late. At least, Kai thinks he's late. He never gave him an exact time to be here, did he? He just said they'd all be here at about one. It's half one now, and Kai is starting to get that familiar itching feeling of being stood up. It's not a feeling he particularly relishes.</p><p> </p><p>"So, where is this guy?" Yeonjun asks, right on cue. Kai shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"How should I know?" he pouts. "Hueningie is not his babysitter~"</p><p> </p><p>"Stop that," says Yeonjun, looking disgusted.</p><p> </p><p>"Stop being a little bitch, then," retorts Kai.</p><p> </p><p>"Children, children. Play nicely," interrupts Yuna.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello," says Soobin, and Kai curses God that he has to make a complete fool of himself every time this guy is within a fifty foot radius.</p><p> </p><p>"Binnie!" he exclaims, almost falling off the sofa in his attempt to make room for his new friend. Soobin looks perplexed as he sits down.</p><p> </p><p>"No-one has ever called me that," he muses.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry," Kai says, blushing like a schoolgirl.</p><p> </p><p>"I quite like it," says Soobin. “Can I call you Hueningie in return?”</p><p> </p><p>He asks that while smiling at Kai and it makes him want to simultaneously jump on top of a mountain and sing songs from High School Musical and crawl into a hole and die.</p><p> </p><p>“Y-Yeah. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise, r-right?” he answers, face deep red with embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>Yeji clears her throat. Soobin turns his attention away.</p><p> </p><p>"Guys, this is Soobin," Kai says to change the topic, putting his hand on Soobin's shoulder and trying to look ironically sincere. Soobin just looks worried. "He's new here."</p><p> </p><p>"Hi, Soobin," his friends chorus. Kai realizes they've planned this and he wants to kill them all.</p><p> </p><p>"You're all comedians, really," he says, and Yeonjun flicks a marshmallow at him.</p><p> </p><p>"I do not understand the joke," Soobin states. Kai wants to slam his own head on the table but realizes that this would be socially inappropriate, so he settles for looking at Yuna, his eyes clearly stating 'if you remark on that, I will tell everyone that you once fell to the sewer’. She doesn't say anything.</p><p> </p><p>Sadly, Yeji does.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Soobin. What are your intentions with our baby boy?" she asks, smugly. Yeonjun prods her in the elbow. Soobin looks confused.</p><p> </p><p>"I do not believe I have any," he replies. "Although if he were to intend to buy me a coffee, this would be amenable."</p><p> </p><p>Yeji bursts into laughter, and Soobin looks incredibly pleased with himself, offering his already trademark half-smile to Kai. Kai can't believe how this is panning out. If he's honest with himself, he'd half-expected Soobin to immediately hate his friends and leave. Instead of trying to actually rationalize events, he nods dumbly and gets up to buy Soobin a coffee. He has to sort of awkwardly walk over Soobin, which makes Yuna almost keel over trying to hold back her laughter.</p><p> </p><p>He stumbles over the coffee order; he has no idea what Soobin likes, and what the hell is the difference between a caramelized mocha with extra shots of mint and chocolate and a grande soya latte with reduced cream anyway? Eventually, he opts to buy a regular filter coffee, figuring that Soobin can gay it up with sugar and cream if he so chooses, and heads back to the table.</p><p> </p><p>The confusion was totally worth it, he realizes, when Soobin sees that Kai has actually bought him a coffee. He beams like he's just been given the moon and immediately proclaims that he would like to meet Kai's friends here every day. Kai smiles shyly and tells him that there won't always be free coffee. Soobin just raises one eyebrow knowingly.</p><p> </p><p>Yuna doesn't take her eyes off them the entire time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time Kai gets back to the flat, he's genuinely exhausted. His ribs ache from laughing so much. He thinks the cherry on the top of the cake was when Yeji started talking about some shitty crime drama on MBC and Soobin had stared at her blankly for at least fifteen minutes before asking her to repeat the entire story as he'd been contemplating the statistical probability of Yeonjun's hand actually falling off from stroking her neck for so long. Kai would feel guilty about laughing but Soobin seemed perfectly happy to be the centre of the jokes, leaning back in his seat and clasping his mug in between his hands like he was afraid to drop it.</p><p> </p><p>Yuna looks at him as he sits on his worn sofa, puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head to the side. Kai shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" he asks. Yuna looks at him pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning," she says. "Are you planning on telling me what's going on with Soobin, or are you going to keep treating me like an idiot?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai finds the remote control under the sofa cushions and flicks the TV on.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing's going on," he replies, and it's completely true. The overly bronzed woman on the television starts going on about some celebrity's latest fashion faux-pas, and Kai tries very hard to find her attractive, but he can't help but notice that her eyes are brown, not black, and her hair isn't the right shade of pastel blue.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning, come on." Yuna says again. Kai makes a point of ignoring her. He doesn't have to talk about this right now.</p><p> </p><p>His friend apparently has other ideas. Suddenly, she lunges at him, grabs the remote control from his hand and turns the TV off. Kai is too shocked to respond in time. She throws the remote onto the opposite chair, out of Kai's reach, and sits on the coffee table in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>"We are talking about this," she continues. "Whether you like it or not."</p><p> </p><p>Kai folds his arms and grumbles, sinking into the couch. He's well aware that he's acting like a child but is finding it hard to care.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine," he mumbles. Yuna sighs and leans forward, placing her hands on Kai's knees.</p><p> </p><p>"Look," she says. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not embarrassed," whines Kai, defiantly. "Mainly because there's nothing to be embarrassed about."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not a moron, Kai. Unlike you, apparently."</p><p> </p><p>Kai has had about enough of this already. He just wants to go into the kitchen and eat pie until his big brother comes home, have a tearful and unsatisfying wank with the image of Soobin's eyes fresh in his mind and go to bed, and probably dream of trenchcoats and dry humor.</p><p> </p><p>"Kai, if you looked at everyone you met the way you look at Soobin, you'd be in debt from all the child support," she pushes.</p><p> </p><p>"I probably already should be," Kai retorts.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning for fucks sake!" Yuna exclaims, exasperatedly. "You don't have to pretend in front of me, you know. I've seen you drunkenly cry over the fact that Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol. I think I can cope with the admission that you might – just might – have a bit of a man crush."</p><p> </p><p>Kai perks up at that. He can deal with a man crush. Every guy gets those from time to time. If anything, it's a sign of latent masculinity; the ability to appreciate the awesomeness of another man without wanting to bone them. It's totally normal. That's what this is. A man crush. That'll work for Kai.</p><p> </p><p>"Or, of course, you might have, you know, an actual crush."</p><p> </p><p>Screw this.</p><p> </p><p>"Which is fine, by the way—"</p><p> </p><p>"It is <em>not</em> fine, Yuna," Kai snaps. "And it's not what this is either, so back off, please."</p><p> </p><p>Yuna raises her hands in a mock gesture of surrender.</p><p> </p><p>"Ok, fine. I don't have time for this, and y'know, refusing to talk about something and burying your fucking head in the sand always makes everything ten times better," she says, bitterly, and before Kai can apologize or ask her to stay a bit longer, she's grabbed her bag and swept out the door. That's what Kai gets for having such a tiny apartment.</p><p> </p><p>That could have gone better, all things told.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kai spends the next view days in self-imposed quarantine, only really talking to Yeonjun. He doesn't even reply to Soobin's texts, which are as endearingly eloquent as the man himself. Seriously, he's never met anyone else who actually uses semi-colons and hyphens in texts before. He finds it oddly attractive. He even finds himself typing out a reply saying 'Will not be at the café tomorrow; seem to have contracted a stomach virus' before he realizes that only Soobin can pull off that shit without sounding like a massive douchebag and he throws his phone at the wall, refusing to pick it up for two days.</p><p> </p><p>In all his miserable, Kai sobs into his molang plushie. In short, he's starting to realize that he's absolutely, well and truly fucked.</p><p> </p><p>It's almost a relief when Yeonjun literally kicks his bedroom door in on the third day of his self-induced solitude. He had been starting to wonder if all this wallowing wasn't a little bit excessive.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun throws Kai's coat onto his bed and pulls the covers back, exposing Kai to the February cold. Kai swears in all the languages he knows how, but Yeonjun's only response is to pick up the blankets and dump them on the floor. Kai knows he's serious then. He sits up, shivering.</p><p> </p><p>"Get up, Sleeping Beauty," Yeonjun orders, rooting through Kai's drawers and producing a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans that Kai thinks he's only worn for a week. "We're meeting up with Soobin at the library."</p><p> </p><p>Kai frowns. Which looks more like a baby pout but Yeonjun knows better than to test him right now, he’s sure.</p><p> </p><p>"No," he says. Yeonjun stares at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," he says. "God, Ning, have you been taking life advice from the kids on tiktok? Grow a pair, will you? I don't know what's got into you these past few days. Yuna says—"</p><p> </p><p>"Yuna doesn't know anything," Kai whines, quickly. Smooth. That'll definitely stop Yeonjun from asking questions. Nicely done, Huening. 10 points to Ravenclaw.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun is looking at him strangely. He shakes his head in despair and walks out of the room, muttering something under his breath about damn crazy brother and his stupid man crush.</p><p> </p><p>If only that were the truth, Kai thinks to himself, miserably.</p><p> </p><p>For the entirety of their short walk to the library, which is spent in incredibly uncomfortable silence, Kai focuses on the girls around him. He tries to find one who'll give him the same instant reaction that Soobin did. He notices a few who would ordinarily cause more than a stirring in his trousers, but for some reason, he can't force himself to be that interested. This is decidedly not helpful, he thinks. As they approach the block nearest the library, Yeonjun starts talking about Yeji, but Kai isn't listening.</p><p> </p><p>He's thinking about someone else.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They find Soobin sitting by himself in the Celebrity Biographies section, and Kai appreciates the irony. The small upwards tilt of Soobin's mouth lets him know that it wasn't an accident, and Kai is torn between wanting to kiss the hell out of the freakishly handsome man for being so damn endearing and punching him square in the face for making him feel that way about a guy.</p><p> </p><p>They sit there for about half an hour, Yeonjun, Kai and Soobin, talking about random shit; school (Soobin studies Medicine), TV (Soobin doesn't own one) and girls (Soobin doesn't have a girlfriend and immediately clamps up when asked to provide further details). In fact, Kai learns a lot more about Soobin than Soobin learns about either brothers. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Yeonjun was up to something. Luckily, he knows that Yeonjun isn't enough of a douche to have any ulterior motive.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun proves him wrong approximately seven minutes later when he stands up with a look of regret.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry, guys," he says. "That was Yeji—" he waves his phone at them as if to prove a point. "—and she's having kind of a hard time with our latest assignment. I said I'd go help her out at her place. You're all right without me, yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai finds all this rather hard to swallow, mainly because he can't imagine Yeji having kind of a hard time about anything, but nods anyway, dry-mouthed.</p><p> </p><p>"I think we will cope," Soobin agrees.</p><p> </p><p>"It'll be a challenge though, without your dry wit and scintillating conversation," Kai adds, and Yeonjun grins. Kai wants to whine, but he doesn't really want Soobin to think he's a whiny child, even though he kind of is, and it's his fault.</p><p> </p><p>"You're a brat," Yeonjun says, but there's no malice behind it.</p><p> </p><p>"And you're a bigger brat," Kai retorts, and there's definitely a hint of anger there, but if Yeonjun picks up on it, he ignores it. He gives them a weird little salute and walks off, leaving Kai and Soobin alone. Together. Alone together.</p><p> </p><p>Kai wants to hurl.</p><p> </p><p>They sit together in silence for a couple of minutes, Soobin reading something about scary viruses and Kai doodling on the back of a sexual health pamphlet. He's starting to feel more comfortable. Soobin doesn't seem to have any expectations. Maybe he hasn't picked up on Yeonjun's weirdness. Maybe Kai's just being paranoid. Hey, maybe he even imagined his argument with Yuna the other day.</p><p> </p><p>He remembers the string of swear-words he received via text that night and realizes that nope, that definitely happened.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you have any work you need to complete here?" Soobin asks out of the blue. Kai shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>"I do Psychology," he says. "I'll just psycho-analyze you later."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin blinks.</p><p> </p><p>"I doubt you would find much of interest to report," he says.</p><p> </p><p>"You underestimate yourself, young Padawan," Kai responds, and immediately realizes he is now essentially flirting via the medium of obscure Star Wars references and resolves to commit suicide as soon as he gets home.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin looks at him in the same way one might look at someone who has just announced they intend to murder their next of kin. Kai's heart does an intensely annoying flippy thing.</p><p> </p><p>"Would you like to come back to my dorm room, Hueningie?" Soobin asks. "We could watch a film, if you like. I do not own Star Wars but could probably procure it from my roommate's vast collection."</p><p> </p><p>The thing is that actually, yes, Kai does sort of want to see the dorms at this place because he sacrificed living in them in order to move into some squalid shithole with his younger brother. A part of him feels as though he missed out on an integral part of the college experience by doing that. He never really got to experience the late-night parties and the sexually voracious roommates, the sound of the asshole in the dorm above having sex until 3am and the fire alarms going off at turn-that-fucking-alarm-off-o'clock because someone was smoking pot in the shower. Instead, he got overdue rent warnings and a brother who didn't seem to understand the concept of laundry.</p><p> </p><p>He nods, and Soobin positively beams. Kai tries hard not to blush or sweep the other man into a decidedly girly hug.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm impressed you got the reference, by the way," he remarks. Soobin blinks.</p><p> </p><p>"What reference?" he asks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kai is surprised to see that Soobin's dorm room is a complete and utter mess. Seriously. It makes Yeonjun's room look spotless. There are dirty boxers strewn about disturbingly liberally and almost every available surface is cluttered with complete shit; DVDs, food packaging, forlorn-looking items of clothing. He resolves never to tell Yeonjun that he's the messiest person he knows again.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin clearly knows what he's thinking because he sighs and sweeps an area clear near the foot of his bed.</p><p> </p><p>"I can assure you, most of this mess is not mine," he promises. "I can take responsibility for this area here - " he gestures towards the neatest area of the room, comprising a bed and a desk that's only piled about half a foot high in crap. " – whereas the rest of it can be attributed to my absent roommate."</p><p> </p><p>"He's kind of a slob, huh," Kai states. Soobin nods, grimly.</p><p> </p><p>"Very much so," he agrees. He reaches across a small pile of what appears to be gossip magazines and picks up a dusty laptop, which he sets down on the bed. He looks at Kai apologetically. "I must apologize that the only chair in the room is currently… otherwise occupied."</p><p> </p><p>Kai looks around and sees that there's a chair on the other bed in the room. Well, he thinks it's a chair. It's in three bits and appears to be acting as a makeshift clothes horse. He shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"It's cool. We can sit on your bed, right?"</p><p> </p><p>Soobin nods, solemnly.</p><p> </p><p>"I mean, can I trust you not to make any inappropriate advances?" Kai jokes, instantly regretting it. Soobin blinks twice, and he’s not sure if he’s just imagining it but Kai could have sworn that Soobin’s eyes turn dark for a second there.</p><p> </p><p>"I believe I shall be able to restrain myself," he eventually says with a smile. Kai forces a small laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll try and do the same," he says. "Right, which film are we watching?"</p><p> </p><p>Soobin looks nonplussed.</p><p> </p><p>"I am not a connoisseur of filmography," he admits. "I generally watch whatever everyone else is watching. I am quite amenable to most films. Although I have to admit to a slight hatred of anything starring any type of ghost."</p><p> </p><p>Kai knew there was a reason he'd become friends with this guy despite the awkward one-sided attraction. He grins and picks up a DVD near the bed that's not resting under a pair of used socks.</p><p> </p><p>"I think you'll approve of this one," he announces, waving one of Marvel’s movies in the air triumphantly.</p><p> </p><p>"I have heard good things about that one," Soobin agrees. "I would quite like to see if my roommate's appreciation of it is based in fact."</p><p> </p><p>Kai assumes that means he wants to watch it, so he shoves it in the laptop and sits on the bed, his back resting against the wall. Soobin provides him with a pillow to lean on and when he scoots closer in order to see the screen, he accidentally ends up with his arm sort of squashed against Kai's side, which Kai finds he really doesn't mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shit blows up in Kai's face at what Yeonjun once dubbed ‘thirsts-trap scene'. At the sight of men shirtless on the screen – the only shirtless men Kai has ever seen in any situation other than accidentally walking in on someone in the shower – he realizes that what he's actually doing with his life right now is watching a man's topless body with the man he's grudgingly beginning to admit to having a huge crush on, and that's not okay.</p><p> </p><p>It's all getting a bit meta-fiction for his tastes.</p><p> </p><p>He leaps up from the bed. Soobin looks incredibly confused, his dark eyes look worried as Kai knowingly makes a complete fool of himself.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," Kai splutters. "I can't do this."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin narrows his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Do what, exactly?" he asks. "Watch a film? I was unaware that this was generally considered to be a strenuous activity."</p><p> </p><p>"Watch a film with you, Soobin, on your bed, like two twelve-year old girls!" he totally pulled that out of his ass, embarrassing.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin scratches the back of his neck and closes the laptop. He doesn't make any move to stand up; just regards Kai coolly from the bed. Kai can actually feel his blood pressure increase.</p><p> </p><p>"I fail to see the issue," he says. Of course he does. Of bloody course.</p><p> </p><p>Then Kai decides that actually he hasn't put his foot in it enough and continues.</p><p> </p><p>"And then there's you, sitting all pressed up next to me like my high school prom date! It's weird, Binnie! It's like, I don't know, you're gay or something."</p><p> </p><p>Something has changed in Soobin's expression. Where there was previously genuine confusion and a hint of concern there is now pure, unadulterated rage. This is the first time he’s ever seen that. Soobin never gets mad at him, maybe at <em>anyone</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Kai swallows hard.</p><p> </p><p>"Would that be a problem?" Soobin asks, quietly.</p><p> </p><p>"W-Would what be a problem?" Kai questions, his heart racing. A part of him wants to apologize, knows he's essentially digging a hole all the way to China, but the rest of him is a bloody Huening and Huenings don't back down.</p><p> </p><p>"If my sexuality were different from yours," Soobin clarifies. "If I were gay, as you so eloquently put it."</p><p> </p><p>Kai really wants to kiss him and prove that he's got it all wrong, he's not a homophobe, far from it, but he doesn't think that would be particularly well received right now.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know," Kai says honestly. Of course, the main problem with that would be that then Kai would have no real excuse not to just kiss him here and now, not that he's in some way morally opposed to it, but apparently Soobin doesn't understand that.</p><p> </p><p>"I think you should leave," says Soobin, flatly. When Kai doesn't respond, his voice gets a little louder, but it's still quietly furious. "Now."</p><p> </p><p>Kai doesn't retort because he's tired of all this and he just wants to meet a nice girl and not be confused anymore and if having Soobin be cross with him is the only way to do that, then so be it, he'll take the risk.</p><p> </p><p>He leaves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he gets back to his flat, he ignores his brother's concerned questioning and heads straight for his bedroom, locking the door and flinging himself onto his bed in an excellent impersonation of a melodramatic teenage girl. He can feel something uncomfortably lumpy under his pillow, so he rummages around for a moment and pulls out his cellphone. He hasn't looked at it in three days and he's not really surprised to see he has ten texts and more missed calls than he can be bothered to sift through.</p><p> </p><p>Most of them are from Yuna, he realizes. Kai makes a mental note to talk to her later and of course, apologize properly. He skims through the notifications until he finds one that makes his heart sink to somewhere beneath the soles of his feet.</p><p> </p><p>It's from Soobin, of course, and it was sent yesterday. It just says '<em>Thank you for spending time with me. I hope you feel better soon. – Binnie</em>' and there are three things about it that make Kai want to rush back to Soobin's dorm and just kiss the man breathless.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly, he's signed off as Binnie, Kai's nickname for him, which is just too endearing, and Kai can't help but feel a swell of pride that he's impacted Soobin's life in some way, even if it's just a nickname.</p><p> </p><p>Secondly, he says he hopes Kai feels better soon, because of course he'd bought all that bullshit about Kai being ill. He hadn't known that Kai had actually been avoiding him so as not to lose all self-control and make out with him non-consensually.</p><p> </p><p>Thirdly – and this one is the killer, in Kai's opinion – he's actually thanked Kai for spending time with him.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin actually thinks that it's in some way an inconvenience for Kai to hang out with him, or Soobin is the one that's benefitting from their odd little friendship. Which is totally fucking insane. Kai's the one who should be thanking Soobin for letting him see his tight little smiles whenever he realizes he's become the butt of another joke, for never using contractions no matter how long it takes him to say a simple sentence, for putting up with all of Kai's childish tendency because really, deep down, despite the layers of jest and confidence, Kai's just a hormonal teenage girl.</p><p> </p><p>He's not overly surprised to find that his eyes are welling up, and he allows himself one moment to marvel at the ridiculousness of the situation; Huening Kai, the crush of the entire school population with the self-esteem of an Adonis, is lying on bed, crying about a boy. Only a moment. Then he returns to feeling sorry for himself, re-reading the text until his phone battery dies and he falls asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Kai is woken by the smell of freshly cooked bacon wafting through the building from the kitchen. Yeah right. He's woken by Yeonjun spreading his cheeks apart like they’re some kind of dough before proceedings to throw his bedcovers on the floor and hissing in his ear, "What did you do?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai tries to bat him away but his brother grabs him by the wrists and suddenly he's pinning him into the bed and this isn't what Kai needs at 9am.</p><p> </p><p>"I know I’m pretty but this is just wrong. Get off," he manages to say. Yeonjun looks like he wants to hit him.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll get off if you tell me what you did to Soobin," Yeonjun growls. "He just texted me."</p><p> </p><p>Kai's heart starts beating like it wants out. Kai understands how it feels. He swallows hard.</p><p> </p><p>"What did he say?" he asks, trying not to give anything away. If Soobin has told Yeonjun that his brother is some kind of homophobic bastard cock-tease then this might be the worst day of Kai's life, and it's not even 9am.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing," Yeonjun replies. "It's what he didn't say, you idiot. He <em>always</em> asks after you when he texts me, that boy is whipped for you. The only reason he ever texts me is to see how you are, for God's sake. That's why I have his number, from when you pulled your little disappearing act last week. And he just texted to say he couldn't make it to lunch today, which is weird in itself because he always acts like it's the highlight of his day. So what the hell did you do, Ning?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai whines. He's pretty sure his spleen is never going to be the same again after having Yeonjun's knee rammed into it for a prolonged period of time.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing," he says. Yeonjun glares at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning," says Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeonjunie," whines Kai, again.</p><p> </p><p>"Apologize," says Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>"You're the one attacking my vital organs!" says Kai. Yeonjun gives him a look that clearly means '<em>every day I despair more of our genetic resemblance</em>'.</p><p> </p><p>"To Soobin," he clarifies.</p><p> </p><p>Kai pouts and shakes his head, stubbornly. Yeonjun sighs and lets go of Kai's wrists. Immediately, Kai flips him onto the floor. It doesn't work quite how he intended it as he ends up falling off the bed on top of his brother. Yeonjun, being approximately bulkier than him despite being shorter, easily shoves Kai away and picks himself up, leaving the poor boy lying on the floor contemplating the likelihood that his spine has actually fragmented.</p><p> </p><p>"Do it, you brat." Yeonjun warns, and walks out, slamming the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Kai wonders when this became his life and resolves to kill himself as soon as possible. He thinks he must have been the devil in a past life, then realizes that actually he's the devil in this life as well, and he pulls the bedcovers on top of him, cocooning himself into a mass of sheets on the floor, and begins to sob like a toddler.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't apologize that day, or the next. He doesn't intend to apologize on Tuesday but when he comes home after a day of really boring lectures to find Soobin sitting on his couch drinking tea with Yeonjun, he realizes he doesn't really have much of a choice.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun sees him come in, sets his mug down on the coffee table and stands up. He looks at Kai and Soobin, who is apparently blind and deaf, suddenly realizes what's going on and looks up.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I'll leave you two to it," Yeonjun announces, giving Kai his best big-brother stare that seems to say <em>‘I’m watching you’.</em></p><p> </p><p>Kai gulps.</p><p> </p><p>Tell him this is a joke. Kai might be taller and, as Yeonjun once so eloquently put it, built like a brick shithouse, but he certainly doesn't fancy his chances against an angry Yeonjun. The older seems to tower over him at the best of times. Yeonjun looks pointedly at Soobin and walks out, and Kai notices how he shuts the door behind him, effectively imprisoning Kai with the reminder that he's started to fail as a human being.</p><p> </p><p>They stand in silence for a few moments, and it's not comfortable like it was that second time in the library. The air is full of things that Soobin clearly wants to say and Kai really, really doesn't.</p><p> </p><p>"Look," says Kai at the exact same time as Soobin says "I don't—" and Soobin gestures for Kai to continue. Kai inwardly curses Soobin's chivalrous instincts, then wonders if that makes him the woman in this situation.</p><p> </p><p>"I-I guess I should really say sorry," he begins, chewing his lip. Soobin nods slowly, still sitting. Kai starts pacing the room. He's never been good with apologies. When he and Yeonjun were kids, Yeonjun was always the one getting into trouble, pushing the other kids over and talking back to teachers. As they got older, of course, Kai took over that role, realizing that he could do all that stuff for the shits and giggles and then escape the awkwardness by just not apologizing. Yeonjun had matured since then. Kai realizes that his own story is clearly markedly different.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," says Soobin. He steeples his fingers under his chin and Kai notices that he has really, <em>really</em> big hands, and <em>really</em> thick fingers, and swallows hard because he's been through this before and Soobin is a guy and Kai <em>doesn't</em> swing that way. At all. Although he's starting to realize that this is clearly not the case.</p><p> </p><p>He realizes that he hasn't said anything else and wonders why he is studying to be a Psychologist when he clearly has such a lucrative career ahead of him in Clownery.</p><p> </p><p>"So, yeah. I'm s-sorry," he continues. Soobin looks at him, all dark eyes and disbelieving and curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you?" he asks. Kai nods.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," he says, weakly. "I don't know why I said what I did. I mean, I know that I probably gave you the impression that… well, I think it's kind of obvious what impression I gave."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin blinks. Of course it's not obvious. Nothing ever is to Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>"I probably made you think I was a homophobic douche," Kai clarifies, and Soobin's eyes widen.</p><p> </p><p>"That wouldn't be inaccurate, Hueningie." he confirms while using that little cute nickname he has for him. Kai is faced with the overwhelming urge to gather the other man into his arms and then have a little lie down because really, Soobin isn't a pile of straw and could probably do perfectly well without being gathered anywhere, thank you very much.</p><p> </p><p>Kai plops himself down on the sofa next to Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not homophobic," he starts, then realizes he has no idea how to finish that sentence. He can't exactly tell the truth, start waxing lyrical on the bottomless pit of Soobin's eyes and the angle of his jaws and his bed-head and, well, everything. He can't leave it on that cliffhanger either, though; Soobin isn't stupid and he'll want explanations.</p><p> </p><p>Kai swallows.</p><p> </p><p>"It's a little complicated," he continues. He starts panicking. This is the moment in soap operas where the dramatic music plays and the characters get 24 hours to decide how exactly they're going to get themselves out of this fucking mess. Soobin isn't giving him 24 hours. Hell, he's not even giving him 24 seconds; he's staring at Kai like he can x-ray his bones with a blink. He probably can. It would explain the eye color.</p><p> </p><p>He's contemplating how to carry on when Soobin opens his mouth to speak and Kai promptly shuts his.</p><p> </p><p>"I think I understand," says Soobin, carefully. Kai's listening now. "Yeonjun may have… explained some things in your absence."</p><p> </p><p>Alarm bells start going off in Kai's head, and he narrows his eyes. He could kill his brother. If he's spouted some shit about how he has daddy issues and now he can't show affection to anyone who has a fucking dick, he's going to vomit.</p><p> </p><p>"Y-Yeah?" says Kai, trying to sound as calm as possible. "What did he say?"</p><p> </p><p>Soobin doesn't answer for a few seconds. Kai supposes he's trying to find a way to word Yeonjun's bullshit in a way that won't make Kai flip a table.</p><p> </p><p>Then Soobin just—he just suddenly kisses him. Whoop, just like that and it's a really fucking weird kiss. First of all, it's with a guy, which isn't exactly what Kai's used to. His kissing partners don't tend to have big, veiny hands that could cover his entire face for a start. Secondly, Soobin keeps his eyes open throughout the two seconds or so that it lasts, dry-lipped and heavy-lidded, warily regarding Kai and cataloging his response with his dark orbs. Before Kai can actually respond, however, Soobin pulls away and rests their foreheads together.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh," says Kai. Of course that's what Yeonjun said. Yeonjun's bloody psychic, always has been. Yeonjun's known about Kai's Big Gay Quarter-Life Crisis and he's been too fucking chivalrous to call him out on it.</p><p> </p><p>“You are really pretty.” Soobin says, breathless. “Your eyes are pretty, your hands are pretty, your moles are pretty. The way your cheeks turn red when you are embarrassed is pretty, or the way you would hide behind your hands and laughs whenever you’re shy. Everything about you is pretty. Those are the words I wanted to say on our first meeting, so I will be saying it now.”</p><p> </p><p>Kai accepts that he needs to formulate a reply, and he realizes he has two choices. He can respond in a way that will make Soobin finally leave him alone to live his life in peace and self-denial, or he can answer in such a way that will ensure a second kiss, and maybe one of those rare, genuine smiles that he likes to see on Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>He chooses the latter. He wets his lips to speak.</p><p> </p><p>"T-Thank you, but I already know that I’m pretty." he eventually stutters, and it doesn't sound as suave as he'd hoped because he trips on the consonants but Soobin doesn't seem to mind because he's smiling and now Kai is smiling and it's hard to kiss someone when you're both smiling like lunatics but they give it a good go, and before Kai's mind goes totally blank with euphoria he thinks that he could probably, just maybe, get used to this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Kai really does wake up to the smell of something incredibly edible coming from the kitchen. It's enough to make him forego his usual morning routine of lying in bed for an hour contemplating the utter futility of his existence in order to go and explore the smell a bit more.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeonjunie?" he calls out, bare feet padding on the hallway floorboards. "It's about time you made me breakfast. I am a god amongst men, after all—"</p><p> </p><p>He turns into the kitchen and stops in his tracks.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun is there, but he's not cooking anything. He's sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper, a still steaming mug of coffee in front of him. Kai would focus on the comical nature of the scenario, joke about the fact that Yeonjun is essentially an old woman, but he's too weirded out by the sight of Soobin standing by the oven, cooking omelettes and wearing one of his college t-shirts instead of his usual shirt and tie. It comes to something, he thinks, when he's more used to a student dressing like an accountant than a normal, non-blood sucking human being.</p><p> </p><p>He must gasp or something because both Yeonjun and Soobin look at him strangely at exactly the same moment. Kai feels himself flushing crimson.</p><p> </p><p>Yes. A whole teenage girl.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey," he squeaks out, again, like a teenage girl, and resigns himself to his fate before pulling out the chair next to Yeonjun. Soobin smiles at him and he looks so fucking handsome jesus fucking christ.</p><p> </p><p>On the other hand, Yeonjun looks like he's trying very hard not to laugh. Kai wants to dig a hole and die, please.</p><p> </p><p>"Morning, sleeping beauty." says Yeonjun. "Your prince charming is cooking you breakfast. Have a seat."</p><p> </p><p>Kai shoves him. Yeonjun just laughs obnoxiously. Kai wonders if there's any possibility he was adopted. God, tell him he’s adopted.</p><p> </p><p>"Doesn't look like you're complaining," he says. Yeonjun shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, free breakfast," he says. "You should get laid more often."</p><p> </p><p>Kai's face feels like it's on fire. Soobin is watching them, his expression a mixture of amused and confused.</p><p> </p><p>"Didn't get laid," mumbles Kai. Yeonjun turns the page of his newspaper. Kai reads the headline; '<em>Man stabbed in Gangnam</em>. He's quite jealous of that man right now.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine," says Yeonjun. "You should <em>lay</em> more often."</p><p> </p><p>Kai pushes him again, harder this time, and Yeonjun nearly falls off his seat. Soobin looks completely nonplussed as he flips the omelette onto a plate and places it in front of Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>"Binnie, he doesn't deserve it!" complains Kai with a whine. Yeonjun sticks his tongue out.</p><p> </p><p>"I was here first," he counters. "You were busy drooling on your molang plushie."</p><p> </p><p>"I was not!" argues Kai, futilely. "Tell him, Binnie."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin idly begins to make another omelette. Kai's stomach does something strange, and he doesn't think it's hunger.</p><p> </p><p>"I’m afraid I cannot vouch for the validity of either claim, Hueningie." he states, and Yeonjun bursts into laughter again. Kai just buries his head in his hands and screams. This is it. This is the day Yeonjun loses a brother but gains a sister.</p><p> </p><p>Why can't Soobin lie? Just this once?</p><p> </p><p>It's not like Kai didn't <em>like</em> what happened. It's not that at all. It wasn't earth-moving or glass-shattering but it wasn't bad. He finds himself blushing again as he remembers; Soobin's natural clumsiness as he tried to pull Kai into his lap, his own complete ignorance about what you were actually supposed to <em>do</em> with a guy once you were both only partially clothed and in agreement that something was going to go down but Soobin had been quick to refute him with another breath-stealing kiss and that’s all they had been doing for the next three hours. He thinks his subconscious could have rephrased that. He remembers how he felt oddly okay with it afterward, despite the fact that he expected to feel completely the opposite.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't feel quite so okay with it now, with Yeonjun laughing at him and Soobin standing around all nonchalant like he hasn't just deflowered Kai’s gay innocence somehow.</p><p> </p><p>He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and immediately regrets it, expecting some smart-ass comment from Yeonjun. It doesn't come. He exhales in relief. His brother looks at him strangely.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you all right, Ning?" he asks, putting down the newspaper. "Need Soobinie to come and kiss it all better?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai clenches his fists.</p><p> </p><p>"I will kill you in your sleep," replies Kai, as Soobin sets a plate in front of him. He doesn't really understand why Yeonjun's being such a dick. Yeonjun's dated loads of stupidly inappropriate people – some just hilariously ugly, others weird in other wonderful ways; Kai will never forget the girl who turned out to write fan-fiction on the internet about an idol and his dog.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"I'd say I'd repay the favor," he smirks, and Kai would very much like to wipe the grin off his face. "But Soobin would be there with you, and two on one doesn't sound like fair odds."</p><p> </p><p>"Carry on and I'll stab you with this fork," warns Kai. He's trying to keep his tone even, his voice level, so that Soobin doesn't think he's some child with anger management issues. He's probably failing. "And one douchebag on one incredibly pissed, taller younger brother doesn't look like good odds, either."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin is watching them, the look on his face suggesting that he's trying desperately to keep up with their banter but failing miserably. He sits down opposite him and Kai notices that he hasn't made any breakfast for himself. He looks at Soobin pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>"I am not particularly fond of food before midday," Soobin explains. Kai shrugs. At least they've changed the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Sadly, Yeonjun hasn't.</p><p> </p><p>"You'd better remember that, Kai," Yeonjun pipes in. "No romantic breakfasts in bed for you—"</p><p> </p><p>He only stops because Kai's no longer there to listen, having stormed out and slammed the door. He realizes he's been doing that a lot lately, but doesn't find himself caring. Yes, it seems like he has completely embraced his teenage girl side completely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's about half an hour later, and Kai's lying in bed, again. He's made a complete brat of himself in front of Soobin for what seems like the hundredth time. He doesn't expect a repeat of last night any time soon. Soobin probably wants to date—</p><p> </p><p>Oh God, are they dating? They haven't discussed this – an adult, and Kai is clearly more of a pre-pubescent girl right now.</p><p> </p><p>He runs things through in his head. There are a few things he's completely clear of right now. Firstly, he’s gay since middle school and it hasn’t changed. He's always known that. He wonders if he can blame his dick of a crush for his current predicament, childhood conditioning and all that. He doubts it would wash with a jury.Secondly, his name is Huening Kai. He has a douche of a brother called Yeonjun and his life is in shambles. There are more things he's not clear about at all; why the hell he's fallen so hard for a guy who speaks like Shakespeare and doesn't recognize the glory of breakfast and can't help himself in the heat of the moment and has a dick.</p><p> </p><p>That part still really confuses him. He's still pondering life and the relative merits of suicide when he hears a knock at the door. Oh God. If it's Soobin, come to break up with him—</p><p> </p><p>Wait, can you break up with someone you've kissed once? Kai is going to hurl himself out of the window and he’ll make it as painful as possible.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah?" he calls, hoarsely. When there's no response, he sighs. "You can come in," he adds.</p><p> </p><p>The door clicks open and Yeonjun pushes it open tentatively. Kai looks at him and pulls a pillow over his face. He can hear Yeonjun sigh from the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning, baby," says Yeonjun. "Hyung’s sorry, ok?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai doesn't reply. He's expecting some hardcore groveling, like when Kai accidentally misinformed Yeonjun's then-girlfriend – completely unintentionally – that Yeonjun had herpes. Yeonjun had made him perform a song about Brad Pitt's cheekbones at the school talent show to make up for it.</p><p> </p><p>"Ning," says Yeonjun again, and Kai removes the pillow from his face and glares at his older brother. "Genuinely. I'm sorry. I really am."</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun moves towards the bed and perches on the end. Kai retaliates by burrowing further into his blankets.</p><p> </p><p>"I didn't know you were going to get that pissed off," Yeonjun continues. "I mean, you seemed cool with the whole thing. You let him stay over and everything. I sort of assumed you'd, you know, come to terms with the whole ‘Huening Kai likes dudes' thing. I was wrong, I get it. I'm sorry."</p><p> </p><p>Kai thinks about it. He's not <em>not</em> okay with it, he decides. As long as other people don't have to know. He quite likes his reputation as, you know, a male.</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay," he replies quietly from behind his molangie blanket.</p><p> </p><p>He feels Yeonjun pat him on the feet through the blankets and he sits up, granting his brother eye contact. Yeonjun seems pleased about this as he smiles a little, folding his arms, and probably wants to wrestle him into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>"So," says Yeonjun. Kai knows he's waiting for something, but he doesn't think he likes where this is headed, so he keeps quiet. "What's going on with you two, then? Besides the obvious, I mean."</p><p> </p><p>Kai is <em>not</em> having this discussion with his brother.</p><p> </p><p>Not now, not ever. He throws himself across the bed and pulls the pillow back over his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you love him?" Yeonjun asks gently. Kai presses his face more tightly into the pillow, whining. "Ning, for God's sake, I'm trying to help."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't knoooow," he wails, aware that he sounds like a little girl but not really finding it within himself to care anymore. As far as he's concerned, he's already kissed a guy, and he doesn't think he's going to get much girlier than that.</p><p> </p><p>He can feel Yeonjun pat his foot again.</p><p> </p><p>"You'll figure it out," says Yeonjun. Kai whines. "You will," he presses. "Really. It just might take a while."</p><p> </p><p>"What if Soobin won't wait a while?" Kai finds himself asking quietly, and he's not sure where that came from. Presumably his newly-discovered estrogen gland.</p><p> </p><p>"He will," replies Yeonjun. "He waited this long, didn't he?"</p><p> </p><p>Kai doesn't respond to that. As far as he's concerned, that means nothing. Just because Soobin has already put up with a few weeks of clownery mixed with utter stupidity on Kai's part, doesn't mean he'll put up with anymore. Yeonjun sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me alright?” he says. “If he breaks your heart, I’ll break his leg.”</p><p> </p><p>That makes him snort. “You wouldn’t dare.”</p><p> </p><p>“Try me.” he winks, but then his playfulness is replaced with this weird serious look he’s never seen before. "You should really call him, Ning.”</p><p> </p><p>Kai makes a noise of non-committal, and he hears Yeonjun groan in exasperation before quietly standing and leaving, pointedly not closing the door behind him. Kai cocoons himself further into the sheets and prepares for a few more hours of self-pity and moping, possibly interspersed with a guilty masturbatory session. It's a beautiful life he leads, really.</p><p> </p><p>"Hueningie?" says Soobin. He wasn't expecting that. He sits up sharply. Soobin is standing in the doorway, still sleep-ruffled. His internal organs do that annoying flippy thing again and he resigns himself to that happening every time he sees Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>"H-Hi," manages Kai in a high, pitchy voice. "Kind of assumed you'd left." Soobin fixes him with his by-now trademark blank stare.</p><p> </p><p>"Why would I leave before being able to say goodbye?" he asks. Kai squints, looking for any sign that Soobin sees the humor and the irony in that little cliché. Apparently he doesn't. He looks completely serious. Kai shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>"Wouldn't really be unfair," he says. Soobin doesn't say anything, but comes to sit at the end of the bed, as Yeonjun had done. Kai is starting to feel like a cancer patient in hospital, visitors coming and going. He vaguely wonders whether Soobin would visit him in hospital. He decides that he probably would. He finds himself strangely happy about this.</p><p> </p><p>"You regret what happened," states Soobin flatly. He's inspecting his fingernails for some reason. Kai can't help himself; he leans forward sharply and takes Soobin's hand. The intimacy of the gesture surprises him, but the way their hands contrasted with each other doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't," he says, quickly. Soobin raises an eyebrow. "I really don't, Soobin. Honest."</p><p> </p><p>"Then why did you behave as though you did earlier?" he questions. Kai whines and crawls to the end of the bed, sitting next to Soobin. He's going to have to attempt to explain this and hope it doesn't fail too miserably.</p><p> </p><p>"It's not that simple," he begins weakly. Soobin narrows his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Either you regret it or you do not, Kai," he says. "And I do not. I would like to know if you feel the same."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't regret it!" Kai says, panicked. "Please. I don't. You have to believe me."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin breaks his gaze, looking at the floor. Kai doesn't like seeing him like this. He looks hurt, really hurt.</p><p> </p><p>"Then explain," Soobin sighs. Kai wishes he could express how thankful he was for the opportunity Soobin has just given him. Now he has to make sure he doesn't waste it.</p><p> </p><p>"It's like this," he starts. "I never told anyone but back in middle school I liked—I actually liked someone. A boy, well he’s a man now, but that boy, we were used to be really close. I just couldn't help but feel something but I was still confused about my sexuality so I tried asking him this once: ‘Hypothetically, if a guy suddenly confessed his undying love for you, would it be okay?’ I was asking in hope that I would get a consolation. Maybe a rejection is okay too but well, he didn’t even answer me and that <em>sucked</em>. But what sucked more, he gave me this disgusted look and started spouting shits about how wrong it is for a guy to like a guy and I think that k-kinda tore me apart.”</p><p> </p><p>He sees Soobin look at him with an expression he can’t read, but pushes on.</p><p> </p><p>"So I guess it made me afraid? To be in my younger self’s shoes again. Not in a clichéd way or anything," he clarifies. "<em>God</em>, I'm shit at explaining. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it'll take a bit of getting used to, having to like another boy—man again. And I just realized this a while ago but people; they can be a terrifying bunch, you know? Especially against people like us so I guess I’m just terrified, like <em>really</em> terrified."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin nods, slowly. Kai's heart is practically in his mouth, pulsating in his throat. <em>'That's all</em>', he'd said. He realizes how fucking stupid he's been. That really is all. He's been a complete brat. Soobin has never cared how other people view him, and he's been all the happier for it. Kai's been so busy projecting this false image of utopia where he can’t be hurt anymore that he could have lost the best thing that's happened to him in a while. He suddenly wants to curl up here with Soobin and forget all the stupid things he's done recently.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry that you have to go through all of that." he says after a moment. "But are you willing to try, at least? With me." Soobin asks. Kai knows he's really asking if Kai's still in this, whatever this is. Kai laces their fingers together and looks at him levelly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," he says. "I really am."</p><p> </p><p>Soobin' face lights up a few milliseconds before the smile finds its way from his eyes to his lips. It doesn't stay very long because the older immediately launches forward and kisses him straight in the mouth while simultaneously pulling him onto his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"Get a room, jesus christ!" says Yeonjun. Kai doesn't even open his eyes as he lobs a pillow towards the doorway. He hears the soft thud as it hits his brother, hears Yeonjun laugh as he walks away.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin pulls away, and Kai's first reaction is that he's changed his mind, but he's smiling at him.</p><p> </p><p>"We already have a room," Soobin points out, this little smirk on his face. Kai feels his pulse quicken even more. He hopes his veins can take it.</p><p> </p><p>"U-Uh, I guess we do," he stammers. "We s-should put it to good use?"</p><p> </p><p>Soobin leans forward to meet his mouth with his own again.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe we should shut the door first," whispers Soobin, his breath tickling the sensitive skin of his ear and Kai has to bit his lips to drown his embarrassing moans.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeonjun can shut it," Kai breathes. "Teach him a lesson."</p><p> </p><p>Three hours later, Yeonjun comes back from meeting Yeji, shouts something about how traumatizing it is to see his baby brother making out on his bed with his boyfriend and slams the door. Kai can't even find room for embarrassment, or feel it.</p><p> </p><p>Because all he can feel right now is Soobin, and <em>only</em> Soobin.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>